50 Oneshots
by WolfieDhe
Summary: Yush. Fifty one shots I have to write. Pairings throughout: EdHavoc .. RoyAl .. EdAl .. RoyEd .. AlSheska .. All characters © Hiromu Arakawa
1. Apple Pie, Chair, Milk

_**Apple Pie, Chair, Milk**_

Havoc yawned tiredly. Another lazy afternoon. Without any office work, he soon realized he didn't have a single thing to do - especially when Edward was busy trying to get all the gum some random kid had gotten into his hair out. He slowly got up off the couch, and headed off down the hallway making his way for the bathroom.

"…Ed?"

"Yeah? What?" he called back from his place at the sink. He'd just run hot water over it again, and was pulling the now melty pink goo from the golden strands of his hair.

"Mind if I come in?"

"Nah, go ahead," was the reply.

With this, he slipped into the bathroom, glancing at the blonde momentarily. He was gazing at the mirror, trying to calculate how much more he still had to get out and how long it would probably take.

The older man walked over, and slipped his arm over his shoulder, taking Ed's hair in his hand. He smirked down at the slightly startled Alchemist, and chuckled. "Here, let me help you there, Ed."

Full Metal shifted slightly, but dropped his hands, nodding. He should be used to Havoc's odd little surprises like that. Should be used to how gentle he always tried to be, and his most-of-the-time playful upbeat attitude. But he wasn't.

"Hn, Ed, after we're done in here ... What do you say we finish off that apple pie?"

"...Mh? Oh, sure," he muttered. Jean _was_ able to make fairly good pies... He offered him a smile and nodded a bit. Though the smile soon faltered and faded off. Sure, he made great desserts, as well as almost anything else, but that's what bugged him. His thoughts were, if Havoc cooked so well, either he was just very fortunate about it, or he had cooked for past girlfriends. He assumed the latter...

He felt the other's hand slip away from his hair, and he glanced back, taken from his thoughts. "...Oh. You already got it all out?"

The man smiled. "It wasn't too hard," he told him. Before giving Ed any time to retort, he dropped his arm from his shoulder, sliding it around his waist. Picking him up, he slipped his other arm under his legs, quickly able to shift Ed's position, ending up holding him in his arms bridal style. "So, how about that pie, hm?"

His golden eyes widened slightly. That had been done several times over the half-year relationship, but every single time it caught him off-guard. "S-Sure," he said quietly, turning his head to gaze down, finding the distance to the floor. He looked back at Havoc, but only for a moment.

Hardly noticing the side glance from the little alchemist, he started out of the bathroom, flicking the light. He was tempted to whip out a cigarette, but he knew too well he'd find it gone in a matter of seconds, easily replaced with that odd Japanese candy - pocky - or some licorice. So, he just brought Ed off towards the kitchen, assuming that he would have a few seconds to slip outside if he came up with an excuse...

He was about to set Ed on the floor and say he was going to go check the mail or something, but for one of the first times in the seven months together, Ed was holding onto his shirt, not really looking too happy about the simple thought of being put down.

"...What about the pie?" he asked, his eyes seeming to be studying him, for something...

"Eh, right. Did you want to get the plates? I'll get the pie ... and anything else."

Full Metal shrugged, and released the fabric of Havoc's black T-shirt, and allowed himself to be put down, then slipped off to the cupboards. Havoc moved over to the fridge, pulling out the pan that the food was in. He glanced over at Ed, and had to try his hardest not to burst out in a fit of laughter. The boy was reaching desperately for the plates. He, though, still wasn't as tall as Havoc and couldn't quite reach the top shelf... He slowly slunk over behind him.

"Need some help?"

"No!" he cried defensively, picking himself up on his tip-toes, placing one hand on the counter to boost himself up to try and grasp the dishes.

He finally reached up and gave them a nudge into Ed's hands, earning a full-hearted glare. He simply shrugged it off and turned away, taking the pan over to the table. He flopped down into a chair, leaning back, and waited as the younger boy slowly walked over, placing a plate down.

He opened his mouth to ask, but before he did, he found the Elric plopped in his lap. The last of the pie was placed on the plate, and Ed took a quick bite. he scooped another bit onto the fork, then turned, holding it before the other's mouth.

He blinked, but didn't protest. Instead, he just took it.

After a few minutes of this, Havoc had gotten a glass of milk, but had to set it away from Ed, and the blonde was now turned around in the other's lap, straddling him slightly, and was trying to get him to eat more.

At this point, the pie wasn't really the only thing on Jean's mind... He shook his head a bit, trying to set his mind on track, get his thoughts on something else, but...

He pushed the fork away, and pulled Ed forward, and engaged in a quick kiss that had completely surprised the other.

Ed stared at him, his whole body tensing slightly. The fork slowly slipped from his grasp, his eyes closing as he finally got into the kiss, but it was at that point that Havoc broke away. Ed gave a small pout, and leaned forward to try and steal another, but he'd grabbed the glass of milk and leaned back in his chair, taking a sip.

Ed quickly leaned back, pointing at him. "...H-How can you drink that disgusting ... stuff that was secreted from a cow's ... utter?!"

He slowly rose an eyebrow, staring at him over the cup. He looked quite amused. He dropped the cup from his mouth, and reached over the other's shoulders, and placed it on the table again. "What, you don't like milk, Ed?"

"_No_! That stuff is just _disgusting_! What the _hell_ is your problem, you _know_ I-"

He was cut off by another kiss. He could taste the fact that Havoc had just drank that milk. ...And in all honesty, he decided ... maybe milk wasn't all that bad...

/.x.\+/.x.\+/.x.\+/.x.\+/.x.\+ Author's Note +/.x.\+/.x.\+/.x.\+/.x.\+/.x.\+

Havoc: -Grins- Got milk?

Edward: -Whacks Havoc- Shut up.

Hello, everyone. This is the first of a series of about fifty fan fictions I'm going to write, based on pairings and three words. :3

Yush, as the title says, my words were "apple pie, chair, milk". Hehe, I couldn't resist that last bit.

Review, please and thank youuu! (Oh no, attack of the rhymes…)


	2. Skirt, Pillow, Uniform

Skirt, Pillow, Uniform 

"Ahn, Nii-san! I …" The boy's voice trailed off as his hazel-gray eyes scanned the room, his hand tightly clutching a wooden spoon. He'd just rushed out of the kitchen to inform Edward that he'd finally finished up their dinner – stumbling over something he didn't pay much attention to on the way – and emerged into the living room only to find his brother was gone.

He tilted his head slightly to the side, and narrowed his eyes. He had made Ed promise _not_ to leave the house again for the day, as he'd been out since six AM and was gone until about an hour before he'd started cooking, which was about eight PM.

And now he wasn't in the living room! His mouth set into an irritated pout as he stamped one of his black and red booted feet against the tile floor. His hands fell to his sides, balled into fists against the red robe fabric. So now where was Ed this time? Out in the rain again? …Probably not. But you never knew with him…

Huffing, he leaned against the wall of the entry way. He felt a hand on his shoulder, and before he could turn his head, he was turned around, finding warm lips pressed against his. He raised a hand to push the other away, but his wrist was captured by the other hand. His eyes widened as they fell upon his brother's golden gaze, but slowly slipped shut, though his lips were unyielding and unresponsive against Ed's smirk.

The elder brother pulled away, and again before Alphonse could respond, he was whacked playfully upon the head with a pillow, his honey-brown hair mussed up after the pillow had fallen by the gloved hand that had fell upon his shoulder.

"Nii-san…!" he whined pathetically, stamping his foot again to add to the effect.

"Sorry, Al," his brother replied, a playful grin playing at his features. He lowered his hand away from his brother's hair, only to run it over the golden strands of his own. "…You know. Your cooking isn't all that bad, despite the four years of your incapability to taste or … cook."

Al stared at him, the irritated look crossing his features again as his eyes narrowed slightly. "…You were trying it when I went to go and get you? …You sneaky bastard!"

He glanced around, and picked up the pillow Ed had hit him with and raised tit to smack Ed over the head with it, but he ducked and thus the hit missed. Laughing, the eldest of the two brothers quickly tore his way out of the kitchen and rushed into their bedroom shutting the door behind him and gripped the doorknob tightly so it couldn't be turned.

Dumbfounded, he dropped his spoon on the floor and chased after him, growling under his breath, only to find the bedroom door slammed in his face, a bump against the door when Ed slumped on it, then heard the doorknob jiggle a bit. His features fell as well as his shoulders when he found he couldn't turn the doorknob.

"Fine, Ed. You stay in there." He turned around, and threw the pillow at the door over his shoulder, and readjusted the jacket over the black shirt and his leather pants. Ever since he and Ed had gotten settled into a house, quickly discovering he couldn't cook too well, Alphonse had picked up on it. And even though Ed was always in a better mood now that Al was back again, Al had always seemed to be irritated with the blonde more than usual.

After the younger boy had eaten half of his dinner, the rest of the potatoes to be pushed around on his plate, mixed around with other bits of uneaten food until it was hard to tell what was what, his feet swinging just above the floor, the older boy finally returned.

He had an awkward smirk on his face that Alphonse couldn't place. Furrowing his eyebrows, He studied the other; his hands were hidden behind the black vest that covered his white sweater. He shifted on his feet, closing his eyes as his grin grew wider.

"…Nani?" he blinked, staring at him. When his hand was held out in front of him, the boy's jaw dropped, and he almost fall backwards in his chair. "Nii-san!"

In the other's hand was some blue fabric. …It almost resembled the military's blue pants in color, but it was much, much shorter and … It was one of those _skirts_ Roy had wished to push onto the female personnel upon becoming Führer!

"Heh heh. What do you think, Al?"

"…Where'd you get that at, Nii-san?!" the boy squeaked as the older advanced, dropping it in a heap on the table next to the other's plate. Al's eyes shifted to it quickly, then away again, gazing up at the other, who was now basically leaning over him.

+/.x.\+/.x.\+/.x.\+/.x.\+/.x.\+/.x.\+/.x.\+/.x.\+/.x.\+/.x.\+

"…How'd I ever let you talk me into this?" Alphonse whimpered a tad shrilly as he gazed down at himself.

Ed surveyed him, looking him over quite seriously. "…Because I'm your older brother for one. And I was too … late to go out and find myself a date to outdo Mustang. Apparently, you can't stand listening to me complain about how I'm going to lose to the bastard unless you help me, and thus you succumbed to me –"

"I wasn't being literal when I said that, Ed!" the boy growled and slapped the other's hand away. "And I'm still your brother, playing your date or not, Ed! Don't do that!" He turned his head, his hair – which was now in a bun in the back, and loose in the front – followed the motion, a bit of it falling over the shoulder of the red T-shirt. "…And I won't even ask where you got all of this."

"Told you. Havoc's not a bad guy when it comes to getting that stuff off the girls." Ed snorted, and seeing as Al was being touchy now, he just patted his head, getting his hand slapped away again. Shaking his head, he surveyed his brother's looks, a gentle smirk crossing his face. "…Mh, I like. You pass off as a girl pretty well."

"Try not to get a nose bleed there, FullMetal," a voice said before Alphonse had a chance to respond. Both of them turned to look to the doorway of the kitchen, and Al just about fainted, Ed almost instantly having to grit his teeth to keep from making some smartass comment. "He is your brother, after all!"

"R-Roy!" Al squeaked. "Who … When'd you get in…?"

He shrugged, reaching up to adjust the jacket of his military uniform. "Actually, I just came to give you two a head's up – you're going to have to get back in the office and work overnight, FullMetal. So you might want to be a little quicker with your little games. Date's are over, sorry to say." He shifted his onyx eyes from the obviously taken-back alchemist to the youngest, who had paled immensely at this point, way beyond the point of embarrassment.

"…Get the-"

Al reached up, covering Ed's mouth with his hand, looking a bit flustered. "Eh, Mi-…Mister Mustang…. Could you please … Go, now that you've relayed the message…?"

"You got about an hour, Ed." With this, he turned, and headed out of the kitchen. Alphonse slowly lowered his hand again, placing his chin down on Ed's shoulder, and stayed this way until he heard the door slam shut, and Roy cursing Black Hayate for jumping at him the moment he walked out.

"N-Nii-san…? You … You weren't planning anything like he was saying r-right?"

+/.x.\+/.x.\+/.x.\+/.x.\+/.x.\+/.x.\+/.x.\+/.x.\+/.x.\+/.x.\+

"Ah… Ed!" The boy stared wide eyed at his brother. They'd been at chasing each other around the house for a good half hour now, and Ed had finally caught Al, and had him pinned to a wall. "…Wh-What are you doing?" he whimpered, squirming around to show his discomfort in this position – especially in these clothes.

Ed stared at him a moment, cursing silently, and instead of answering, leaned forward and gently pressed another responseless kiss against the other's lips, and pulled away. "…Getting ready to leave," he muttered quietly. He threw on a quick smile, and gently rubbed the top of Al's head, purposely fumbling with his soft hair for a moment, then placed another kiss to his forehead. "…See you tomorrow morning," he said softy, and turned away, starting towards the living room to get himself fixed up to go.

"…Nii-san…?" he called softly, taking a few cautious steps after him, his pace a bit slow compared to his brother's. The elder boy didn't even pause. It was as if he hadn't heard the other at all. Furrowing his eyebrows, he ran after him, and pounced on him when he caught up – which didn't take too long, thankfully for him – and he made quick to nuzzle against his shoulder. "Nii-san…!"

Ed was thrown forward at the unexpected weight of his brother against his back, but he caught his balance before actually falling, and looked over his shoulder, unable to hide his smile. "Yeah?"

"…Wh-When you get home tomorrow …" He trailed off, and instead took the initiative, sliding his arms around the other's waist, burying his head in his shoulder. Swallowing, he timidly moved his hand down towards the front of Ed's pants until he felt a hand over his own.

"…Sure thing, Al," he said with a slight grin, pushing the other's hand back. "…I'll be sure to save some energy – for you…"

/.x.\+/.x.\+/.x.\+/.x.\+/.x.\+ Author's Note +/.x.\+/.x.\+/.x.\+/.x.\+/.x.\+

Al: …Jeez, you're perverted persona is rubbing off on me now, Nii-san…

Ed: …That could be a plus for me…

Al: Ed!

Yes. I make it a habit of mine for a little dialogue between the characters at the end of my little one shots. XD

But this is why I haven't been working on the other story – though I don't think a ton of you care a lot. No one's reviewing. I have one review so far.

Come on, people! One alert for each of these stories I have without a review – that doesn't exactly strike up my 'Oh! People like it! I better get to work!" moods… xD Sorry. It doesn't.

Review please! ♥


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